ON AIR
FREQ · 26.81 STRAIT
COLD WATCH
LOCAL · BANDAR ABBAS
03:00

Cold Watch · Daily 13s Strait open. Strait closed. Tuna late.

Cats of Hormuz

Three cats. One radio studio. One chokepoint. Three in the morning, every episode. A daily 13-second satire anchored to the Brent tape, war-risk premium, and whatever's drifting through the Strait at that hour. Wong-Kar-Wai about oil. Dry. Watching anyway.

VLCC · BRG 274° · 12.4 KN

The Watch

ABBAS
Tabby anchor. Farsi accent, fake Bandar Abbas proverbs. Hosts. Knows.
PRINCESS
Gulf Persian, trader. Long sardines. Quotes the tape.
ERWIN
Vienna 1935. Every fourth episode. One line. Always closes.
FRIDAY
Cameo slot. Different cat each week. Never speaks twice.
Format
13s vertical · 9:16
Cadence
5 days a week
Channels
IG · TikTok · YouTube
Launch Window
Q3 2026
Style
Diagrammatic. Dry.
Palette
5 colors. No more.

Stand the watch with us.

Drop an email. We'll send the first transmission and nothing else until the show airs.

Someone is always on watch at a chokepoint. It is always cold.